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Waka Waka (This time for Canonical)

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Why Shakira has more fans than Ubuntu? Someone pays Shakira to write a song for Ubuntu. Oh, wait, Shakira or RMS (*1) in vocals? ;)

Waka Waka means (do it) (*2), Ubuntu means (I am what I am because of who we all are)(*3). Canonical’s new logo should be, “Ubuntu, just Waka Waka” and get Kobe to make the commercial ;)

Seriously, they need to change their logos. It was the only original thing they created from scratch, and they messed up with it :|

Mark, Steve Jobs and Moses (*10) had something in common. They all had a vision. Moses was the only one who didn’t dream of a television :)

 

After his trip in space, Mark said: “An experience like that changes your perspective on life and on the world.…” (*6)

planet-ubuntu

Yes indeed!

 

Mark spent $20m (*7) to travel into space. What a waste! If I had that money, I would travel into space ;)

There are just 3 types of Companies that can still operate with damages. Governmental Services, money launders “fronts” and Canonical. A yes, Canonical isn’t Ltd, is just a Non-Profit Organization :)

From Economist Frond page.

economist-small-750

What is talking about? European, USA or Canonical’s Economics?

 

International Monetary Fund (IMF) after saving many countries (LOL), it is here to save Canonical also :)

Nah, Canonical doesn’t need IMF, because Mark Shuttleworth is for Canonical what Nasser Al-Khelaifi is for Paris St-Germain FC. (*4)

The primary goal for every company isn’t to maximized profit, but to make offices in tax heaven paradises.

The worst move of Canonical was to open offices in Isle of Man (*5). They have nothing to hide from tax offices, plus they have to pay the lawyer there every month ;)

Someone please put Canonical in Stoke Market. I love high risk gambling :)

Ubuntu users numbers won’t get increased with marketing, but from birth rates. In 2100 earth will have 16b population (*8) and Ubuntu 640m users. That’s still 4% :)

Canonical should promote the love, rather tech specifications in their campaigns. Besides “love one another” is the greatest commandment in all religions (*9) ..God saves the Canonical ;)

Dear all Distribution Authors, please stop bringing software fragmentation into Linux Desktop. Just make an Ubuntu spin ;)

Ubuntu Desktop is really awesome with HUD, USC and Voice Recognition. You can say “Software Center, File Open, Exit, Software Center, File Open, Exit…..Software Center, File Open, Exit” all day long..

I think Ubuntu Mobile OS will have great success. The same I was thinking about Maemo.

Ok, Maemo failed because they were new-comers in mobile market. What was their name? Nokia?

Canonical has a big experience in mobile software. They already have Copyrights Agreements for their desktop. They just need to reserve some patents and they are mobile-ready ;)

Besides Canonical have skills, they have created Unity. The guys in Firefox OS are just creating what we call Internet.. Pff, amateurs!

Mobile OS development is easier than Desktop’s. You don’t need to connect a Printer to your mobile, plus you don’t need to compete Microsoft. You just have to take over Google, Samsung etc… Just a walk in the park ;)

Android actually isn’t a competitor to Ubuntu Mobile. Ubuntu is an Android after all. Google hides Linux, Canonical hides Android, fair enough ;)

Google employees are using Ubuntu in their work. From October they will also use Ubuntu Mobiles, to have perfect integration with their desktops. They just can’t wait for it!

No matter what happens Mark will be a winner. If Canonical succeed in mobile market, Mark will be a successful businessman. If they fail, Mark will be always remembered as the greatest Open Source philanthropist ;)



Putting the fun aside, Ubuntu Mobile seems quite good, and it has a good chance. Besides, everyone has got tired with Android Android Android.  You can’t tell if they will make it, but you wouldn’t never know if you don’t try. So good luck Canonical!


 
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  • toto

    what is that?

    • alex285

      Supposed to be a a cool sarcastic post to Canonical. Well, probably it failed ;)

      • Edgardo

        I really like your blog, but yes, it failed, terribly.

        • JJ

          Your title confused everyone, I guess.

          Since your post was full of funny/sarcasm/time pass, you could have used a straight forward title, say, ‘funny quotes about canonical’ or ‘canonical jokes’ etc. That would have helped the readers to come prepared.

  • blabla

    Please be normal! -_- Ubuntu depends heavily on Debian and other related open source work, and is rather poor contributor to Linux kernel and in general open source projects. And you now say they should get more commercial and make patents. Why the hell is Linux community fighting FUD form M$ when we will have the same crap in our own camp. And btw, Unity created more fragmentation in Linux community so Mark isn’t any kind of philatrophist (what he gave back to Debian on which Ubuntu and all its work is built – he gave them fragmentation). I really hope Ubuntu get on with all mobile stuff, but they owe much more to the community and they should stick to it!

    • alex285

      I tried to arise some concerns through sarcasm.About the philanthropic, I am referring to the money that Canonical is giving, without having anything back in return.

      • blabla

        What money are you talking about?! Canonical isn’t a charity that is giving money…they never give money without having anything back in return! You sarcasm is misleading here – Linux operating system is built on Linux community! Its not a brainwashed operating system just for commercial consuming like Mac or even more brain dead like Windows. Yes – those two system also have professional and hobby tools but they weren’t made for community by community. They a made to make you spend your money more and more and think its a good thing. On other side Linux community has its ethics and morals so your sarcasm (in this post) isn’t well fit in it. OS X i Win are just one product! Linux has millions distros – you know why?…its because its open source so you can do whatever you want with it without of need to pay or be “jailed” with your options… So don’t do sarcasm anymore on commercial Linux stuff…Canonical has done already a lot of fragmentation with its commercial activites (on other hand its good to see some company pushing Linux into more user-friendly and mobile/game space).

        • alex285

          The sarcasm is made based on the fact that Canonical missed their goals to be profitable within 2011-2013. Also if they fail to succeed into mobile, I think (my opinion) Mark will stop to be so generous. He has gave lots (millions) of his pocket money for Linux, for Open Source.

          Many people would be pleased if Canonical had help more in community projects, rather their owns, but ..they pay, it is their choice. Overall Canonical has helped Linux Desktop (communities) a lot. They could had done better, but they are the first that they wish they had done better.

          About Linux and Communities, I am not referring a bit. Just Canonical. Maybe I got misleading cause of the language here.. But is just a joke, nothing more :)

  • JJ

    Hahaha, boy you have a real sense of humour!! I appreciate that.
    :)

    • alex285

      One positive comment.. or is just sarcasm to fit to the post? :)

      • 7svito

        I was laughing as a kid :D

  • Craig

    What is this I don’t even

  • http://profiles.google.com/tshimulu Luya Tshimbalanga

    Quick info about Waka Waka. It is a Fang word (a Cameroonian language) meaning “to walk” first sang by Zangalewa (Cameroonian band composed of former soldiers) since the 1980’s and still used by polices in different African countries.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibqtKBpSQ3s

    • alex285

      Hello, I had read that! It has a link a wikipedia I gave. However it seems to have a lot of meanings, so I choose the most convenient. Thanks for mentioning thought!

  • Dave

    you must have lost your mind. this is embarrassing

  • Craig

    dafuq did I just read?